2005-10-30 11:39 a.m.
And going to church did me a whole lot of good. Hearing the Word of God service brought me a whole lot of peace that came at the right time when I was feeling suicidal. Guess what they talked about? Relationships. It is as if God knew I was in trouble over that.I learnt that I must forgive Yun not because she deserved to be forgived, but forgiving her will eventually be the only way to forgive myself and spare myself from the shit she has done to me.
Also listening to the 7 principles of relationships made me realise too that I have wasted two years of my life sowing a seed that blossomed into shit by spending so much of my time and attention on her. If she does not receive my words then she doesn't qualify for my time. So even our friendship would have just been a waste of time. The speaker spoke too that sometimes you just got to walk away from the person you care the most, for even Jesus walked away from Judas, just to let the person know the own consequence of their actions. I cannot protect her forever.
4. If any relationship does not give birth to change, than any further association is unnecessary
This is something that I've always believed in and I'm glad the speaker touched more on this. My relationship with Yun is just completely wrong from the start. What did it change me to be? Bitter, selfish, vengeful. It undid all the good my love for Yenny done to me. Such a childish love for her did not make better but instead make me bitter. Thus I believe any further association with her is pointless.
So now I am feeling better and I have a greater hope for tomorrow. Planning lots of activities with Edwin and Serene to go know more girls. Life is still good with true friends around afterall.